That One Long Letter
by redsilverfox
Summary: A year after Chuck died; Blair finds a letter that Chuck had written days before he died.


A/N: So this is a one chapter story wherein well, you'll find out later. Might write a prequel to this since it'll be unknown to everyone the cause of it. R&R. It's always appreciated. I also hope you find time reading the whole thing. I'm sorry it's long.

That One Long Letter

Summary: A year after Chuck died; Blair finds a letter in his office that Chuck had written days before he died.

**BLAIR'S POV**

It's been a year since Chuck died. I haven't been actually leaving the penthouse/suite. I have been eating properly and I've not been functioning well. I'm always in my bed, lying, but I go down once or twice. I've been crying a month after he died. But still, the impact hasn't gotten to me. _He's dead._

I'm worried. I'm worried for my kids. They've been ever so rebellious since their dear father died. They've been staying up late for parties and they smoke and drink but smoke occasionally. They help me cope with their father's death since I'm lying in my bed most of my time, because I'm too weak to even stand up sometimes. They comfort me and they go to the bedroom to make sure I'm not dead. They bring me up food sometimes when I don't even have the will to move.

_Maybe __**I'm**_ _dead. _No, it's not possible, I'm still suffering pain and if I were dead I might experience bliss or double the suffering I'm going through. You get what I mean? But, it's been a year now, I SHOULD move on. I NEED to move on. In my dreams, Chuck's telling me to move on now. He's dead and I have a life and 2 kids. Am I going insane?

I guess, I should do what he tells me to do. MOVE ON. I just hope I do.

[A/N: Try imagining this part, there's this flashback scene and it is incorporating with the recent scene. I hope you guys get it.]

I, still in robes walk toward to Chuck's now empty office. [Flashback scene, Chuck orders Dorota to put the letter to a place where Blair would last find it, his office drawer.] I am still teary eyed by the fact I'm now going to his office, a place memories had happened, bad or good. [Dorota places the letter inside a drawer.] I now open the door to his office, with tears falling down my eyes. [Dorota closes the office door.] I sit down at his chair and look around the office as if I were him. I check to see if there was something still in there. I opened the first drawer.

Empty.

The second drawer,

Still…

Wait. I saw something, an envelope with my name written on the front with Chuck's handwriting.

I opened the sealed envelope and check to see what's inside.

It's a letter, from Chuck.

I unfold the letter.

To My Ever Dearest Blair,

I don't know when you'll be reading this, but I know that I'm going to die days later as I finish this letter. Let me first start by saying, take care and love the kids. Tell them that I love them so much that I don't know how to say it to them. The children do remind me a lot of you. The way they act, the way they speak to me, it all reminds me of you. Second, that, I LOVE YOU and you know that. I've always been to afraid to have said it the first time I felt but the moment I said it was amazing. I never thought I'd love someone like you. Third, is that, I'm very sorry for everything I've done in the past. I hope that you could forgive me for the ways I acted. Before I say more, let me address our children.

Rupert Edward Charles, my son. I remember the time you were born, you had brown eyes like me and your mother's but I do not know which brown eyes you had, but growing up, I saw a little of your mother in your eyes. Her eyes were beautiful, and when you look at them when she speaks, you're hooked to them. It was like yours. When you talk, I listen, and I look right in your eyes. I remember the time when you were a baby. Oh, how cute you were. You were always smiling and giggling. It was one of the things I go home for when I'm not around, it makes me happy too. I would always carry you and rub my nose against yours and you would giggle. I also remembered the first time you said mama and papa. It was wonderful. Also, the first time you walked. You stumbled against my arms, I found it amusing, but I was proud that even when you stumble you'll always know how to go right back up. The first time you went to school, I was in our limo and you were crying going to school because you did not want to. I told you that school is something you'll learn to appreciate and to be like daddy, you'll have to study. Eventually you did study and you were one of the smartest people in your class. You inherited your mother's intelligence.

Rupert Edward, do not waste your time and our money drinking and smoking. You have a very bright future ahead of you. I know I told you once, drunk, you should make your own mistakes and not mine, but please do not make the mistake to be with people you know that'll hurt your future. Don't be like me, who didn't go to college, though I didn't really intended to go there, but you should go, because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity and you should maximize your time with your studies, because if you screw up, things, wouldn't go with what you want. You don't want that don't you?

Always remember to believe in yourself and always to make the right decisions for a future ahead of you. I love you, my son, you know that.

I inherit you Bass Industries. By the time you graduate college, you could run the company, because I believe in you, and you have to go to college just like your mother did.

You're now the man of the house. And please, even if I 'visit' you, don't fight your sister, for the love of all things holy, you're only two kids.

Alessandra Audrey Blair, my always beautiful daughter. I would always remember the time that you would wake up your mother and me when you were a baby back then. When your mother came, you'd cry some more, but when I did and I'd even sing, I kiss you in the forehead and you'd go back to sleep. I also remember the times when it was raining hard outside and you'd carry your little pink teddy bear wrapped around your arms, and there were tears falling, you'd ask us if you could sleep next to us, and as always, we would say yes. I also remember the time that you had us rushing to the hospital when you fell in the playground. You asked me, "Daddy, am I going to die?" I said no, because it was just a fall and I don't want you to die, because I don't want your mother going through pain. I remember the time when we were shopping for your mother for Mother's Day, you'd pull my sleeve and whisper in my ear what you think will be a perfect gift for your mother and you'd always get the perfect gift. I also remember the time when your mother was sick; you'd tell me to get a flower so she'd get better. But I will always remember the gift you gave me for Father's Day. It was something meaningful. You gave me a scrapbook, you were little then, it was full of pictures and your drawings. It made me happy and I didn't want to throw it away because it was so meaningful to my heart.

Alessandra Audrey, like what I told your brother do not waste your time on vices and people not really worth your time. You'll get hurt in the end and that's what happened to me and your mother, we don't want you getting hurt. Go to college, a thing I didn't go to. Like your brother you have a very bright future. You're very talented in the arts. Hone it. Alessandra, I'm sorry to tell you that I have broken one promise of mine. When you told me when you wanted to get married, I should be walking you down the aisle, I'm so sorry to tell you that I cannot. It's your brother who will. Always remember to believe in yourself too, and never lose hope. Be good to your mother for me. I love you and I am sorry.

I also give you Bass Industries so you could help your brother. I know that you could also do it. I have faith in both of you.

Blair, I will never ever forget you, even if I'm in hell or maybe in heaven, I know I won't. As kids, you and I were very different but we had one thing in common, we were both second to Nate. Growing up as teenagers, I never thought to see the day; I'd have feelings for you. Blair, I'll admit it that even before you know what happened in the limo; I had this 'crush' on you. I never did admit it before because you were with Nate. I didn't want to break your ever so blissful relationship. I was also his best friend. I didn't want to break mine and Nate's friendship especially ours. After the time at the- you know what happened in the limo, I finally felt something real. Something I never thought I'd feel because I was this 'robot', emotionless. I remember the first time you said I love you to me, I'd admit it, I wanted to say it back, but you know with everything that has happened, Gossip Girl was right, I was coward. I always thought saying I love you to you would make me less of a man it would denote me of my manliness. But it didn't. It made me stronger because it made me feel alive to feel. By the time you were in college and I was running my father's company, we were growing apart, but we made time for our relationship because we didn't want it to end. We almost broke apart, but we didn't because we loved each other too much to be even apart. By the time you graduated, I proposed. It was one of the best things I've ever done. Marrying you was the best thing. I chickened out at first because I've been thinking of the future with you. I was really uncertain. But I was scared, but marrying you was the opposite. I love the way we were committed because I felt secure with you. I know that if things go wrong, we'll back up each other through good and bad. I remembered the time you told me you were pregnant with Rupert Edward mixed emotions ran through me, but thrill was the main emotion of mine. I thought that I was going to be a horrible father because of the way my father treated me but you said, don't let that get in the way with you being a father, you're technically like a father now, running the company, I'm sure you'll do better as a real father. You said you were right when Alessandra was born. I believed in you. But I won't also forget our fights, little or big. I hated them because it separated us for a bit and our children were affected by it.

Blair, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, A MILLION TIMES I LOVE YOU. I'm sorry for everything, please forgive me and never ever forget to be a good mother that you are to the children. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I don't want you to forget me, but you have a good life ahead of you. Maximize it. I also give you Bass Industries until our children graduate. Help them manage it because you're good at managing things. I know you are. I believe in you, always. I LOVE YOU, Blair Cornelia Waldorf- Bass, always have, always will.

**Charles Bartholomew Bass.**

I cried through the whole thing and when my children read it too, my children cried. I guess I should do what Chuck tells me, to make do of my life before I die. I love you too Chuck, a million times I love you, always have, always will.


End file.
